It's time to unlearn silence, my friends

Hello beautiful human

I experienced a strange but profound moment when I was in Florida for an event last week.

A woman speaker had invited all the women to stand in the room. We closed our eyes, and she was beautifully reminding us all that we have a voice. That the world needs us to use it.

She was inviting us to give ourselves permission, to trust ourselves and to trust our intuition.

As we united, eyes closed and vulnerable, a man stood up and started to walk amongst us, shouting that we should trust in Jesus instead.

The man was interrupted by another man, and invited to leave. But what was profound is that this man had demonstrated what so many of us women face in the world.

When we try to rise, we get pulled down.

When we try to unite, we get interrupted.

When we start to tune into our essence and truth, other voices start to chime in even louder.

We are interrupted, continually interrupted, this was just it happening to let’s say 1000 of us all at once.

[Side note: A 2014 George Washington University study found that when men spoke with women, they interrupted 33 percent more than they did when speaking with other men.]

That moment was truly confirming for me. These are exactly the things that I am trying to change for us in the world.

But we have work to do.

Which is why it can’t just be me. It has to be all of you too.

We have learnt a way of being that is fairly natural based on the environment we find ourselves in. We have learnt to react graciously when we are interrupted, and have learnt to hold back more than we have to speak up.

But we need to find our voices.

We are like the canaries in the mines [birds who gave the workers an indicator of how toxic the air was before they experienced it too]. Now I am not talking about us playing such an extreme role as the canaries, but our intuition is there for a reason. To guide other humans to create something better. In relationships, in companies and frankly, in the world. If we feel like something is off, it often is.

But if we have learnt that we get punished for speaking up, we hold back our voices and all the magic that we could be bringing.

That’s why I love the work that Elaine Lin Hering is bringing to the world on this topic, with her book ‘Unlearning Silence’. And guess what… she’s on my podcast this week on Bloom! You can listen to us chat on your podcast platform of choice.

“In Unlearning Silence, Hering explores how we’ve learned to be silent, how we’ve benefited from silence, how we’ve silenced other people—and how we might choose another way. She teaches how to recognize and unlearn unconscious patterns so we can make more intentional choices about how we want to show up at home and at work.” - 

In Bloom, we start with a reflection around 'where do I get stuck' to figure out where we silence ourselves the most. We then work on building the muscle of speaking up in lower stakes situations. Elaine gives a great example of exactly how to try it on the podcast actually!

The other thing I really recommend is having the right community around you, funnily enough. It is so much easier when we do this stuff together.

In the final episode for this season one of the Bloom podcast, as you already know we get the huge privilege of hearing from Elaine.

From the moment I saw Elaine Lin Hering posting online, I knew I'd found someone special. As I got to know her better, her wisdom is beyond expectation. She conveys a sense of dignity, empathy and an invitation to take ownership.

I love this from Elaine; 'I as a sovereign individual have agency to have my own thoughts. What do I think? That’s the start of finding your voice.'

You can listen to our chat on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Rooting for you always.

Big love,